The holidays come with a long list. Gifts to buy, meals to prepare, and traditions to keep alive. For divorced parents, that list can feel overwhelming as custody schedules and co-parenting responsibilities factor in. When alcohol misuse is also a concern, “checking it twice” takes on a much deeper meaning.
Parents want the holidays to be magical for their children. Yet many worry about what might happen when alcohol is part of a co-parent’s celebrations. With so many gatherings centered around drinking, the thought of children being exposed to unsafe situations can cast doubt and cause parents to catastrophize.
The good news is that there are ways to prevent such doom spiraling. From clear parenting agreements to tools that document accountability, parents have options to reduce conflict and focus on what really matters: giving their kids a holiday filled with safety, love, and lasting memories.
The Holidays Bring Baggage
Most of us don’t need a reminder that holiday culture is soaked in alcohol. Eggnog, champagne, mulled wine—sometimes it feels like every invitation comes with a side of “cheers.” For a parent who struggles with alcohol misuse or who’s in early recovery, the season can be full of triggers. And for their co-parent, the worry that drinking could impact the kids is impossible to ignore.
Add in extended custody schedules, overnight visits, or holiday travel, and the anxiety grows. What should be a season of connection often becomes one of the hardest times to co-parent.
Talk It Out (If You Can)
If your co-parenting relationship allows for it, open and honest conversations can go a long way. The key is to stay focused on the kids, which might sound something like:
“The holidays matter so much for the kids. I’d feel better if we could agree to keep things alcohol-free when they’re with us.”
Of course, not every dynamic makes this kind of conversation safe or realistic. In high-conflict situations, structure and boundaries are often more effective than dialogue.
Building Safety Into Parenting Plans
Custody agreements often cover holiday schedules, but if alcohol is a concern, extra safeguards can make a big difference. Things like:
- Setting clear holiday visitation timelines.
- Agreeing to no alcohol use during parenting time.
- Having a plan B if a parent isn’t able to follow through.
These steps might not sound festive, but they create stability, which is one of the best gifts you can give your kids during the holidays.
Accountability That Brings Peace of Mind
Accountability tools can bring substantial relief to co-parents navigating alcohol concerns. For the concerned parent, verified results ease tension and provide peace of mind. For the parent testing, they remove the burden of constantly defending their sobriety, freeing them to focus on meaningful time with their kids.
The most commonly used option is Soberlink, a high-tech breathalyzer that allows parents to test at set times and share results instantly by text or email. Each test is verified using built-in facial recognition to confirm the right person is testing, along with tamper sensors to prevent cheating (no sober buddies here). The results are even reliable enough to prove sobriety in court, which is why countless attorneys and judges across the country respect and leverage it. Soberlink is a strong addition to any parenting plan and can be especially valuable during the holiday season, when alcohol is present at nearly every gathering and risks can feel higher.
Keeping the Holidays About the Kids
At the end of the day, the holidays are for your children. Divorce, especially divorce due to alcohol, already throws a wrench in traditions, and alcohol concerns can make things feel even more uncertain. But kids don’t need “perfect” holidays—they need presence, connection, and safety. A few ways to keep their experience front and center:
- Hold on to rituals that matter, even if they look a little different.
- Create new traditions that are simple and joyful.
- Keep grown-up worries away from little ears.
Children remember the moments, not the stress behind the scenes. Give them the gift of lightness, even when things feel heavy.
Parents Are Priorities, Too
Co-parenting during the holidays is a lot. Layer in concerns about alcohol, and it can feel overwhelming. This is why taking care of yourself matters. That might mean saying yes to a supportive friend, saying no to an event that drains you, or finding space in therapy or a group where you can exhale.
Your well-being is not separate from your children’s. When you’re grounded, so are they.
Your Path to Peace of Mind
Divorcing reshapes the holidays, and that can be a tough pill to swallow. But different doesn’t mean doomed. Parents still have the power to shape the season in a way that feels safe and meaningful for their children.
For those concerned about alcohol use, putting safeguards in place like Soberlink before the busy holiday stretch can ease conflict and create more calm. When safety isn’t hanging in the balance, parents can exhale and kids can just be kids.
Remember, “Making a list and checking it twice” doesn’t have to be only about presents. It can also be about protecting your kids and giving yourself the peace of mind you deserve this holiday season, too.